There's an old story from some east Asian countries that two people who are destined to be together are bound by an invisible red string that they gradually unravel until they meet.
I always loved this story and this idea of two people slowly untangling themselves until they find their way to one another.
(Apparently Taylor Swift does too - she just wrote a song about it. You can listen here).
So magical, isn't it?
To think of how all these special soulmates, friends, loves, mentors, guides and casual connections are all out there, and that we're all making our ways to one another at the exact right moments?
This week: can imagine who you might meet?
Imagine who might be out there looking and longing for you?
There's another song I love, Calgary by Bon Iver, that speaks to this.
Justin Vernon, the lead singer, explained that the song is about that longing feeling for places, people and experiences you know are out there and you're going to love, but you just haven't experienced yet.
You can listen to that song here too.
Nice idea, isn't it?
For a long time I knew deep in my "big love" was out there but I often second-guessed it, and doubted the wisdom of my heart.
If you're feeling that way, I want to remind you: your Big Love is out there, looking for you too.
There's someone out there who you likely haven't even met yet who are you going to love so much.
And when you meet, it will be easy....because the thread has already unraveled itself.
In the meantime, as your "thread is unravelling" you are both learning lessons, growing and shifting into the partners you need to be when you meet each other.
I shared yesterday just some of what was happening as I was "unraveling" my string. The lessons around practicing vulnerability, forgiveness, resilience and self-compassion I had to learn through some failed relationships. You can read about those here.
(And stay tuned for later this week where I share more of these stories since many of you shared that you're liking reading them!)
What’s always surprised me about my connection with Chris is that even though we are two people from two different countries and two different histories, the underpinning of the relationship has always been...easy.
Everything has always flowed.
Things that I would have consciously would be a hurdle or an issue just always have fallen into place and been easy.
I think the reason that everything has been so easy is because we had both done the work to truly unravel the thread so that when we met we were both clear, present, and totally open-hearted.
(This is is not to say that we don't get into conflicts and work to resolve them through the same healthy and open communication that I had to learn how to do through many of those failed relationships and lessons).
Before meeting, we both cleared space in our hearts and in our lives, got clear on what we wanted so we could recognize it when we saw it, had learned to have a true openness to follow the flow of a special connection, and the emotional maturity and intuition to be able to trust ourselves enough to know whether it was safe to open up our hearts to one another so vulnerably.
While we talked for 2 months before finally meeting in person, I remember calling my friend telling her that I was feeling super vulnerable and anxious on what was only my second trip to visit him in NYC and her response was: “well, it just kind of sounds like you’re in love with him…”
I let those words sink in, and then went to meet him near his office after work for dinner. As he walked in I thought “yup – she’s totally right. I am in love with him.”
The next day he and I went to his favourite place, where that night he told me he loved me and instead of being able to reply I said: “YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT I WAS JUST THINKING THAT BUT THOUGHT IT WAS TOO SOON TO SAY IT.”
Always so grounded – Chris’s response was: “well, I could’ve waited to say it, but that’s how I feel…so why wait?"
I think now about what it took for someone like Chris to be able to get to the place in his life to be able to share so openly with me like that (he has his own journey and his own stories to tell about the moments, challenges, and experiences that brought him to me).
And I also think of all the journeying and work I did to get my heart and life open enough to receive this type of love and that type of heart completely (which you now know more about!).
Thread unravelled. Heart totally open. Available for true Big Love to enter.
I'm now so grateful for my numbers 2, 3, 4, 5...15 and so on.
The men who challenged me, opened me up, showed me my blocks, helped me learn grace, and ultimately got me to a place where I could be the person and partner that I needed to be for Chris.
I'm also really grateful for the time I spent unravelling myself to get into deeper connection with myself too.
The time that I used to get to know myself, transcend my fears, and to build my dream life completely independently.
It was all in perfect timing, looking back.
What are you unravelling right now?
Who might be unravelling their way to you?
What experiences, people, or places are out there that you haven't experienced yet, but you know you're going to love so much?
What experiences in your life right now are helping you grow?
Love is always finding us all the perfect time.
Through relationships, yes, but through friendships, the love we feel when watching a sunset, the love in a magical moment, the love for our family, an activity, or anything else.
But relationships really do offer a unique depth of love.
Relationships offer an opportunity to know ourselves, and therefore love, in a deeper way.
If you're longing for that experience of exploring the depth of love through relationship, claim it. Own it. Declare it.
And if you're longing to get into deeper connection and KNOW yourself so deeply with a greater level of self-compassion, then own that too. It's time.
Whether you are in a relationship right now or not, the ability to connect deeply can always be transformed. It starts with intention.
Chris is my mirror.
I’ve never dated someone who was so similar to me, but in the opposite, masculine form.
While that makes it easy in terms of alignments in shared interests and activities, interestingly, in being so similar, I can see myself more clearly. I can see where I might overthink things in the same way Chris does, or see where I get stuck too, which is what I need to learn and grow from the most from right now.
What I want you to see from me sharing parts of this story is: divine timing matters, and every experience you are having right now is helping you grow into being the person you are meant to be.
Chris and I met at the right time for both of us, and at a time where both of our lives were set up in a way such that we could make the unique circumstances of our relationship work.
It was the right time, and every experience before was necessary.
Stay open, and trust the process.
Your big love is out there and looking for you too. Trust that the invisible cord that ties you two together will eventually bring your hearts together.
I would so love for you to join the Big Love Course if you're looking to connect more deeply with yourself and develop your sense of self more, are ready to dive into your heart, and calling in a relationship or looking to more intentionally "unravel your string" so that you can be ready and available for whenever you are supposed to meet your person too.