The armour around your heart.
Comparison - armour.
Judgment of others - armour.
Guilt - armour.
Trying to keep things under the illusion of control - armour.
Thinking you're not good enough (unworthiness) - armour again.
There that armour lives, sitting around your heart, blocking you from feeling your heart's true magnificence and all of the love and radiance you desire.
That magnificent feeling of deep contentment and joy that's found in simply being alive and flowing with the universe.
Right now, in this place of cocooning, you may have noticed some of your "stuff" coming up.
You may be thinking - "arrgghhhhh - this again?"
But right now? That’s great. It might be time.
You may have given up pieces before, and now there's a new layer, or maybe you're just actually ready to give it up this time. To be over it. To draw a line in the sand and say "not this again. I release this."
Offer it up.
If you don't want it anymore, like you truly, truly don't want it anymore - offer it up.
Say: “Here - Spirit/Universe/Kali (a Hindu Goddess), take it. I'm done with it. Purify me of this piece. I don't want it anymore."
But don't give it up unless you're really ready.
What you are doing here is offering it up to the forces of the universe because you are ready to experience the gift of liberation and expression on the other side.
In order to do this, you will have to have a sincere readiness to open up to new facets of your soul, and a willingness to dive into that ocean of love that is lying within you.
But if you're ready to finally offer up a piece of the armour around your heart - then ask Spirit/Universe/Divine Mother to help you remove it.
This is called the purification process. Also known as an ego eradication or death. Also known as spiritual alchemy.
Sometimes we forget that we aren't powerless, and that we aren't alone in this human journey.
We forget that our higher selves, the whole team of spirits, and the universal healing force at large this is here to support us.
All that our souls want, ultimately, is to be love and share love.
The universe wants to help us remove the armour that blocks that love, so it’s always trying to guide us to see our attachments to the things that keep us suffering - our armour - and then ushering us to offer them up so it help wash them away like the waves of the ocean.
Over here, I noticed myself wearing some old armour about my body during this self-isolation time.
This was a brand of armpur I thought I had worked through until, there it was again.
Judgment around my body.
Comparison around my body.
Guilt around my body.
Trying to control my body.
Some of the classic markers of armour, you know.
The amour that tells me that my body should be a certain way, feel a certain way, be able to do certain things, weigh a certain number, workout a certain amount, and creates a whole drama in my mind and resulting behaviours if its anything other than these ideas.
So I offered it up: "Enough. Here, you take it. I don't want it anymore."
In every physical movement practice, I set that intention. "Here, take it."
- helping to get it out of my physical body as I moved and shifted and sweat.
In every meditation, I set that intention. "Here, take it."
- helping to get it off of my heart so I could experience more openness and love.
And then in my journal, I wrote out: "I'm ready to let this go. Here, take it. And also, what's this really about?"
- helping to my clear my mind of it by unraveling it back to the root.
This is what I find so fascinating about our armour, or our blocks to the heart - we always chose to put that armour on one day, because at the time, it served us.
Going back to the root helps.
Sometimes there are many roots, which is why sometimes we have many layers of armour to peel back.
I usually get messages from my soul about where my blocks are rooted from in the form of images, and sure enough, as I sincerely asked to let go of this specific flavour of body armour, and inquired in my journal what this was really about, I kept having an image of me at 19 pop into my mind.
At that time, I was so disconnected from myself, my body, and who I was.
For starters, I was about thirty five pounds heavier.
I didn't know how to cook, so all of my meals were basically what I could ration together and make palatable through the microwave, peanut butter, and the snack-a-palooza I would devour late-night after coming home from the bar.
Every morning, I would wake up and immediately crush a red bull that lay in the case that I casually kept beside my bed.
I could never really focus because I was tired all the time.
I had stopped my beloved dance classes since I began University, and while I would go to the gym to use the Elliptical or lift some weights, I hated every minute of it it. I had no movement practice I enjoyed.
I had clear inflammation markers of a puffy face and constant bloating due to my poor diet, but I had no idea about the diet-body link, and so looked for something to explain my symptoms. I would go down anxiety-ridden google rabbit-holes to self-diagnose myself with everything under the sun.
My friends and I know lovingly refer to this strange, neurotic, dark time in my life as "the Dark Raven Years." (My hair was also black at the time - I thought it would make me feel better... it didn’t).
I was reminded of this version of myself because the root of the armour came from that time.
The following year, right before I turned 20, I found yoga, which gave me a safe place to nurture and connect with my body. Spending time sweating, stretching and walking so much naturally changed my eating and lifestyle habits. I naturally released the weight on my body, my inflammation went down, and I came back to equilibrium.
But then some new armour was created in response to this time in my life. It was the idea of "don't you ever be like that again."
So that’s where it came from, and then here it was, resurfacing.
Now that I had the awareness of where the root was (btw: there are other roots that I’ve worked through and released before - layers!), I could release it.
"Thank you armour for helping me when I was young to stay connected to my body and create healthy habits, but I don't need you anymore. I release all judgment, comparison, guilt and shame around my body. And so it is."
I then put my hands on my heart and said the same thing aloud.
And then it’s gone. It’s lifted. I feel free of that armour now.
This was the process (which is always my process for removing armour): see it, offer it up - physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Find the root, be fascinated by where it came from, be compassionate about why the armour was created, and then sincerely let it go. Let it go in movement, in meditation, and in your journal.
Then, like magic, you will be free. It doesn’t always have to be hard.
Honestly, in my experience, some of the deepest and heaviest armours or blocks have ultimately been the easiest to move through when I go through this process.
Then I'll do maintenance by creating a new, empowering affirmation to keep my mind and thoughts aligned with being in a clear space.
In this instance its: "I deeply and completely love and accept my body. I am perfect health."
That's the process. I hope it helps for any heart armour you’re ready to put down. You don’t need it anymore.
This really is the core practice of aligning with your soul through a process of removing all the things that are blocking her full expression (ego), is what a lot of my work ultimately centres around.
Armour down. Heart open.
Lots of love,