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Why hearing "you've changed" is a blessing

Uncategorized Jul 03, 2020

I hear of this happening all the time - women who decide to evolve and grow into the next version of themselves... 

End up drifting away from old friends or family members.

They might feel like they just aren't connecting with some people in their life in the way that they used to.

Or, alternatively, others in your life start commenting that "you've changed..." as if it's a bad thing. 

Since many of us are beginning to see friends, family members, or co-workers that we perhaps hadn't seen in months, I want you to pay attention to how it feels when you see them again.

Does it feel different?

Are there some connections that feel off?

Are there some conversations or perspectives that you feel like you are no longer resonating with?

The beauty of having been isolated for so long is that you really learned what your own energy is.

Absent so much external stimuli, you were given an opportunity to connect deeper with yourself and your own truth in a way that perhaps you might not have even realized...

Until the contrast is staring you in the face.

Sometimes we don't even realize how much we have shifted and grown until we traverse places or reconnect with others and notice the shift in how we feel. 

As you begin to emerge out of the cocoon of isolation over the last few months, pay attention to whether any of your connections have changed. 

Pay attention to whether the content of your conversations have changed.

Pay attention to what connections feel natural and make you feel at ease, and which don't. 

And instead of feeling bad, or awkward, or confused at why things might not be flowing - use it as a tool to notice your growth and appreciate that gift. 

If you are a person that is in touch with your soul, you are in a state of perpetual becoming. 

You are always gong to be changing. 

As a result, there are likely going to be people in your life that see that change.

With those changes, you might notice your connections shift. 

There are likely going to be some that wish that you would stay the same as you always were.

But that's not your path. 

Stay true to you and the you that you have become, and the you that you are becoming. 

From there, focus on the connections, conversations and communities that are feeling safe and supportive, and opposed to focusing on what isn't. 

Remember, the people around you should (ideally) make you feel like you can be your authentic self. 

"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. before him I may think aloud." - Emerson

Always trust that the universe will bring you new friendships and connections as you make space from those that aren't flowing right now. 

Also trust that in the space of becoming, that connections inevitable ebb and flow, and a friendship or connection that isn't feeling natural right now can shift again in the future. 

But stay committed to who you are now - and how you have been changed these last few months.

As Glennon Doyle writes in Untamed: "I am a human being, meant to be in perpetual becoming. If i am living bravely, my entire life will become a million deaths and rebirths. 

My goal is not to remain the same but to live in such a way that each day, year, moment, relationship, conversation, and crisis is the material I use to become a truer, more beautiful version of myself.

The goal is to surrender, constantly who I just was in order to become who this next moment calls me to be.  I will not hold on to a single existing idea, opinion, identity, story or relationship that keeps me from emerge new.  I cannot hold too tightly to any riverbank.  I must let go of the shore in order to travel deeper and see father.  Again and again and again."



Self Reflection Journal Exercise

1. What connections feel like they are flowing in my life?

2. Which ones are not?

3. If I were to write out the 5 words that exemplify how I want to FEEL when I am in the presence of my friends... what are they? (ie: joyful, at ease, inspired...)

4. What types of connections do I want to call into my life?

5. How can I become even more present for those friendships or relationships in my life that are really amazing?